…And say what you really think. You want instant connection? It’s not that hard, we’re built to connect. Be real – kind, honest and real, with a mind oriented towards solutions and just being here as you are with the other person just as they are. This encompasses all areas of life – it makes absolutely no difference if it is a romantic interest, a lady at the grocery store, business meeting or a family dinner – they are all people, and are just as you tired of the superimposed rules that the society set up for orderly conduct which makes all seem like wax figurines staring at the glass eyes and poker faces of other figurines across them. Stop just smiling and telling them what they want to hear, never really saying anything that matters but playing out a social sequence like automatons. If you’re nervous, don’t stumble around trying to find a sentence that will make you sound cool and fearless, just say “I’m nervous and excited now, it’s kind of hard to find the words, please give me a moment” – this is the ice breaker that bypasses the social programming of proper neutral non emotional safe subjects of meaningless chit chats. You’re nervous? Good! Well so am I and thank you for sharing that with me.
We get so fixated at the eye of the world staring back at us scrutinizing and judging that we prepare our speeches and interactions to the finest details. But the preparation itself is already a mask because it means you’re expecting a certain reaction, you’re expecting to be judged as doing this right or wrong, pause for laughter or drama… If you prepare everything and shield yourself in fakery to keep the discomfort of the new away people will miss out on the real you. You don’t need to seek approval from society; you don’t need to ask for pats on the head for a job well done, or stare at people waiting for judgment to pass if you’re a failure or a success. This is the difference between the internal and external locus of identity – do you measure all you are by your own standards or weigh all you are looking through the eyes of others.
Why would you want to play this perverted game? Why would you want approval, beg for forgiveness or accolades from the schizoid conglomerate of the least common denominators? What you’re seeking approval or forgiveness from still hasn’t found the space to forgive itself and therefore in judging itself judges everything you do accordingly as not enough (unless it generates money, than you’re off the hook…).
Refuse to play this game, stop building a facade over your person to keep from being ogled at like a weirdo or a freak show. If you’re wholeheartedly opened and listen without judgements you’ll soon find out a huge secret – We’re all weirdos here! You can tell us anything, no need to hide, polish or protect a thing. If it blows up in your face, it just means you were talking to those who still don’t understand this, not that you did something wrong.