Whatever arises does so from within – joy, anger, pleasure, love… it’s an inside job to be happy, content and satisfied. If you know you’re capable of generating all emotions why wouldn’t you cultivate the beautiful ones as much as possible? You really do have a CHOICE in how you’re gonna feel about your life in even the most dire of circumstances because happiness is a choice and not just a reaction to an outside occurrence. Psychological studies trying to catch, weigh and reproduce “happy” as a thing, have shown many times that what happens to you has very little to do with happiness and that events that effect you badly or improve your life only affect you for about three months until the novelty wears of, so people balance out on their current “decided upon place of happiness” be it an accident or a lottery win that changed their life.
You have the potential to leave the tap of joy and peace open but not if you get tangled up in how someone else feels, how they want you to feel or behave, what to achieve or slide into measuring success by fulfilling expectations and reaching quotas, into being proper and not … REAL. You will always remain a slave if your state is dependent on outside input. We guess it might even be convenient to do so because it exports the responsibility of your emotional health to someone else, so however you feel you can say it I because of this or that, him or her. But how on earth are you gonna fulfill your mission here with the weight of other people’s expectations on your shoulders as well, you cannot just look at the score board or seek for nods of approval. Even if you’ve lost or someone is not pleased in the end this doesn’t mean you didn’t play a good game or did your best. You might have played your best game so far and still lost. Score means nothing no matter how strongly capitalism believes only in the final result. It is impossible to achieve the results everybody expects so don’t carry all of the previous experiences of when there were expectations on you into the new action – this one is a completely separate situation and it has nothing to do with the old context. If you allow the expectations to govern you the brain will start pulling up the files of the times you didn’t satisfy the expectation and discourage you in the reality by echoes of something that is not real any more.
So please, whatever is at hand – new lovers, businesses, children, self-development, friendships – come to it clean and opened. Don’t allow yourself to be burdened by all aspects of perception, memory and imagination. Be here in this moment and do the best you can (really do your best not just half so you’ll have an excuse if it doesn’t work). Each time you did your best because you felt you need to for you – not to please someone or meet an expectation – you did well regardless of the tally.