If someone were to walk up to you right now and ask you “Who are you?” what would you say? What would you begin with – Your name, family name, occupation, nationality, religious believes, the roles that have been imposed or self-imposed…? How many things would you say before you ran out of answers, because your imagined new esoteric acquaintance in this mind exercise keeps asking the same question over and over again? The moment you run out of the things to say is the moment you start to really think about the question.
So who are you? There are many yous fulfilling different purposes. Were all kind of dissociated and have developed a bit of a split here as the dissociative identity disorder. The different yous have their part to play – some may have formed long ago because of an event or a danger the fragile you perceived and they are here to protect, serve as shields, some operate only within particular situations not letting anything sink in too deep in order to defend the vulnerable core. Some yous are happy go lucky yous, playful ones that come out when you’ve managed to keep the chaos a bay long enough, some of them are problem solvers, some of them are kind, some selfish…
None of these identities are really you and equally all of them are. So what is the realest truest answer to this question we can give? We honestly have no idea because each person is such a beautiful pattern of so many things, a tapestry that’s stunning even in the places where it may be torn, worn out or damaged, that it takes a lifetime to get to know each one and there is always more to discover as we keep changing and developing. But an inkling inside would suggest the youest you is to be found somewhere at the border, that it is in the way you handle new and unexpected curves and how you face things where there is no preplanned course of action. So the you that is there on the floor with its eyes closed trying to not let thoughts interfere with the savasana, learning to embrace them and let them go is close to the real, the you that is struggling with an asana getting better bit by bit in each try is more you than the one that just keeps doing the things it already knows, the you facing unexpected circumstances and using all of its self-regulation and patience to push through, endure and find a way is more you than the one that takes no challenges. When we try our whole person gets involved and all of the disparate yous from the infinite roles we play implode into one single entity focused on that one thing, while touching the border of what we’re familiar with.
Will you ever be able to fully grasp all you are? Probably not, just as you can never expect of another to fully know you, but isn’t it one of the noblest pursuits you can imagine to try to understand the best you can, get to know and accept yourself as you are and do the same for others. Perfection was never necessary, keep exploring the borders and when you notice that the alone you starts being congruent with the “among the people” you you’re getting close.