Change will on very few occasions, outside of natural cause beyond our control, come with fanfare and its own brass band, roaring above all else as triumph or catastrophe. Most times things will change tiny bit by bit, by accumulation of small things one on top of the other and every answer to the question of “How did I get here?” “How did this happen?” will be “Bit by bit.” You’d be surprised what terror you’d be willing to accept if it’s served to you in little chewable pieces.

All that’d ever been perverted and twisted became such by incremental movements. The oppressive regimes didn’t just come out and said “Oh yes, we wish to kill all that don’t agree with us in the worst possible ways we can fathom and sell it under justice and strengthening of our identity/ideology”. It didn’t go like this. It was a slither of something malevolent peaking its head and then crawling back into its whole,  peaking again, venturing a few feet from the entrance and crawling back in. After not being punished and snuffed out the first few times, now the world had been desensitized enough to accept the unacceptable. We’re wired to rationalize unimaginable things if they are broken down into steps, we’d never allow such a thing to happen if it happened all at once. Relationships don’t go bad in an afternoon, there were thousands of afternoons of neglect to communicate that preceded the break. Things don’t happen as a single event conjured up from some magical enchanted land stocking all of the possibilities that might be and then choosing to spew one into reality. Things are a process and there are warning signs, which can be ignored unwillingly or choosing to be willingly blind because “if I don’t look at it it’ll go away or someone else will fix it”.

It doesn’t work like that. Beautiful things take time just as the ugliness does. You may fall in love with someone’s form in a day, but to love all of them takes a lifetime. Building things takes time, brick by brick, hour by hour, skill by skill, course correction after course correction… We humans are very adaptable to new circumstances. It is an evolutionary free pass to withstand, persevere and thrive, but it also makes us vulnerable to accepting the unacceptable. If you see something unpleasant unfolding, a pathology forming on any scale around you don’t ignore the warnings. It will undoubtedly become worse before it gets horrid enough to inspire action and so so many things can be neutralized before they even begin if we just didn’t ignore the process. Don’t let your contortionistic adaptability make you blind. There is always something you can do to help. There is always hope. Always!