What if you conceived yourself as someone able to take it, anything at all, no matter how uncomfortable, difficult, strange, exhausting or trying it may be. What if you just took it on with no excuses, no ducking, no hiding, no running, no avoidance tactics with an opened bare chest, your wits and experience and a whole lot of courage and responsibility? What if the load became greater and greater with no signs of slowing down and you saw yourself as someone who gets better as the opportunities present themselves, not someone whose back collapses under the burden? What if you applied the logic of growing your muscles by putting stress on them to the whole person? Who could we all be if we didn’t avoid the difficult?
The logic behind why you don’t want to do difficult things is pretty clear. The brain is an expert at energy management and is pretty much only concerned with survival. Who the one who survives in the end is is of lower priority than passing genes forward. It protects you from difficult things by taking away motivation needed for the activation energy that gets you moving or by fear of an assignment it deems as non-crucial to survival. If you’re in a situation where survival is at stake there will be so many fall back mechanisms making you better at listening, reacting, running away or fighting that it is mind boggling. The good news is you don’t need to take it on all at once nor figure everything out at the same time. Your only mission until you get belter and develop self-created motivation to advance will be to override this first tier of resistance and get moving, to just break the activation energy requirement and start. Once you’re in the midst of something interest comes spontaneously to make you keep going because the brain figured – “Meh, it’s probably important enough that she invested energy into overriding the prime directive, so let’s do it.”
So all you need to do is not avoid things. You can feel it when you want to run away, hide and not deal with things, when you shut your eyes so hard that you manage to convince yourself the thing will go away if you don’t look at it. You already know when you’re not handing something but pushing it back from consciousness because it makes you feel uncomfortable, weak, lost, angry, drained… You know what you’re avoiding – the talks, the people, the responsibilities, the risks, the changes, the dreams, the challenges you believe you’re not up to… we all know. But if you just override that default reaction to avoid and face things head on for a day, a weak, a month, a year or ten – who would you be? What potential do you have which you never had the chance to use, what is still locked in the code? Where is the upper limit and is it true what the marines say – that when you think you’re done for you’re only on 40% capacity? We don’t know, but we know that the courage to try in one area is transferable, that confidence translates into all other spheres in life and that improving one aspect of you pulls everything else up as well.
So if you were looking for a micro/macro goal this week let it be to not avoid what you’ve been avoiding. Breathe, focus, handle it the best you know how, assess, correct course and do it again, and again, and again. Most of the things you’re searching for are waving at you right there over the line of “uncomfortable”.