If you’ve been alive for any reasonable amount of time by now, it’s quite safe to presume you’re no stranger to suffering, loss, difficulty, despair and all its siblings, which will show up through a course of a lifetime and all it demands from a human being.
There is utmost certainty that you’ve touched the low point at the bottom of the bucket at some stage or were starring real difficulty right in the eyes so close you could taste it. Sleeplessness, worry and anxiety are a part of this posy. You might have even had a full blown panic attack or had been sucked into depression or lethargy. It’s ok, it will pass. Even when it doesn’t seem like it and all you want to do is curl up in a corner somewhere and disappear, there is something to be said for suffering in any form.
We’ll all lose people and that’s an inevitable part of life, a private disaster in itself, from which we might heal slowly or feel like the space will never be healed. Some things are so tragic you can’t believe that there is no way to wake up from it. But consider and revisit all of your personal apocalypses today. How many of them resulted in growth, good, more insight and depth, people that came to comfort and stayed, new realms of understanding that made you a better listener and more ready to help. You got another level to you, no matter how hard the thing was or is. If it is happening now it almost certainly feels like it’s never gonna end, a personal full hell you can’t escape while you’re obsessing trying to figure out where things went wrong, what could you have done differently to avoid this, how you can change it now… Some situations can be helped an alleviated by your action and the way you choose to carry the load, but some are out of your control. We’re not omnipotent. No matter how hard we try we can’t beat death and decay, can’t cure people around us being ravaged by disease. But we can decide that this expertise will not close us off, that it will become a portal to new spaces within us and when we gather enough strength to stand upright again we can use it to pull others up. Even the bad can be for the good. If viewed as such it is not wasted. Even if it is/was horrible, tragic and crippling it will at least not have been in vain.
Build yourself into someone able to withstand the blows. They will come in one form or another – relationships will end, you’ll get that phone call after a routine physical, things you poured your heart and soul into will crumble before your eyes… It’s not about being content and grateful when everything is going well and according to plan. It’s about becoming someone who knows that he/she can endure the rough spots and we can’t really know that until we’ve done it. It’s about having a vison of what is possible even when we still can’t see a way to back up our vision, It’s about believing in what you can do, how you can help and a deep mission within us all to serve each other the best we know how. More experiences make us better at this service. Even when it is horrible, it can turn out to be good in the end. The path s long, wavy, strange, full off pit stops, breaks, boulders, blind alleys and labyrinths you have no maps to, but we learn through each step and get where we were headed better than we could have hoped for.
Cry but don’t despair. Hurt but don’t lose hope. Entertain the thought that you may be wrong or insufficient with what you know now but have faith in your ideas and abilities. The road is long, but we’re not alone. Ever. Hang out with good people this weekend. They are all around and it’s (gonna be) all good.