It seems that more times than not we pay attention to things we own more than to ourselves. We’re gonna clean and declutter our homes, vehicles and closets but allow junk to pile up in our minds and hearts. The isolation in the light of the pandemic pushed most of us to, in a desperate need of a project since we’re goal oriented and driven psyches, to get ourselves a little project. Many walls have been painted, rooms, redecorated, basements and attics cleaned as all of the “someday” tasks stepped front and centre. The need to do something productive you can be proud of runs to the core of our personalities. Just lounging about may give us welcome rest and joy in just being for a while but a though forms that turns into a burrowing worm and gnaws, urging us to do and accomplish something, as the guilt of procrastinating hitches a ride with it.
So we will take care of our possessions with such care, but what about the self? We hope you’ve focused some of this need for order and clarity onto your person as well. There is no better time than spring to do a personal deep clean to put ourselves through a spin and dry cycle. How to do a deep cleanse of a personality? First, you just get quiet. Stop filling the void with constant chatter, stop talking so loud as to speak over the things that are whispering. Listen. If the voice inside is telling you something you’re doing or saying all the time, some behaviours and affiliations are wrong you’ll know. Our core personality keeps talking to us we just can her it through the mundane chit chat. You’ll be surprised how fast you’ll hear it with no distractions. It will take you directly to the issues as soon as you turn down the white noise. This also means no distractions such as just turning on the TV, news or radio in order to have “company”. Be alone in the room, be quiet, don’t do anything just listen. It’s a form of meditation where you ask yourself questions with the readiness to really hear the answer.
Step two is – once heard it cannot be unheard. Be ready to take the action this self demands. Things it says may vary from simple small steps to life changing events or overthrowing of decades long bad habits and patterns, the way you’re living or the choices you’ve made. It’ll feel different than doubt. Doubt is always there and it is a good thing not letting you get o comfortable and stagnant, allowing for the real time assessment of conditions. This will be different and will present itself more as a certainty. You may have been ignoring some health issues and hopping they’ll go away. It may say that some people you’re regularly associating with or are bonded to by law or blood are seriously damaging and draining and that you need to stop giving them so much of your time and energy or need to work on repairing the relationship. The voice may call you a liar or a fraud because you know when you’re faking interest, love, competence or connection. It may say your career or relationship is not right for you, It may say you want children or quite the opposite, it may call you out on the things you know you shouldn’t neglect, say you’re pushover or that you’ve sacrificed some things you shouldn’t have in favour of something or someone else. It may say you’re spoiled, got too lazy or are wasting time. It may say scary things that are difficult to accept, let alone change. But if you feel in your heart this is true (true for you – this is a private talk, a realignment that concerns you alone) accept it and be willing to let some parts off you burn of and die.
Carrying layers of deadwood in our souls is no good for anyone and its better for all if we arrive as our real selves in each interaction The moment you are able to set boundaries based on your own assessment of what is necessary for you to be content, your levels of compassion for others, as independent sovereign individuals, skyrockets. There is something to be said for sacrifice but there is no need for martyrdom and we all see the world not as objective facts but as we are. Do some deep cleaning of the source and remember that the non-judgemental willingness to hear what it is saying, even if it sounds mean or harsh, is key. Truth may not be pleasant at first but a layer of lies is much much worse in the long-term. Do some personal decluttering. Some things are ready to get thrown out and make space for the new.