The patterns of society are living things, they keep reproducing and repeating themselves in each new generation over and over again through unexamined habits paralyzing its protagonists. The way we raise our boys is by telling them to be “man enough”, to “man up” if they show vulnerability to “suck it up”, we cut them off at the knees and make them believe that a man is only a man if he is constantly strong, doesn’t share his feelings, is always competing with other men, creating a bubble in which domination and using force is considered masculine while the feminine is seen as a polar opposite, of which he must kill all traces in himself.

We tell our girls to “sit still” and “be pretty”, as if this is all they have to offer, we allow them to be weak and ask a man for help, we allow them to cry and be submissive, teach them to “smile more” and “be quiet”, take away the voice and courage. Courage is a male trait, vulnerability is a female trait – but it takes far more courage to be vulnerable than anything else, it takes far more courage to ask for help and say you are struggling and hurting than to race a car or built a business. So all of you mums and dads out there decide you’ll do thing differently. Don’t teach your boys to only use their hands but their hearts as well, don’t teach your girls to be cute or pretty and use their bodies to make themselves desirable, teach them to think, act, speak out and not be complacent. We are not polar opposites, we are complements, and best things in life will come through the combination of these traits.

You are not rugged if you don’t sheepishly smile but share an opinion, you are not a sissy boy if you show compassion, warmth and love, the cogs in this perverted social practice can be broken and reassembled. You don’t need to push your son to be Batman for Halloween, do math, build stuff and play sports if he in his heart feels he’d rather paint, you don’t need to force your daughter into princess costumes, dress her in pink and force her to take ballet if she wishes to take engines apart… Stop giving them a a script of what makes them “man enough” or a “lady” and raise them not to be good men or women but good humans, they’ll find their way.