No, we’re not referring to the alternative imaginings of far from reality removed spaces of free art and community that is the Burning Man festival, but are walking a different route here – That of logical fallacies.

And as Dorothy, ripped away from her Kansas fields, home and family and her pooch Toto embarked on following the yellow brick road to find the Wizard of Oz, one of the posy she collected along the way was the Scarecrow character – a straw man, not man at all, a figure that lacked something crucial – a brain. Men of straw are fragile, easily flammable and essentially empty. This is what you try to do to the arguments of others sometimes, weather you’re aware of it or not. You try to turn them into strawmen. It is one of the many logical fallacies, errors in reasoning we employ in order to get our way. It may not be outright malicious but just an ego wanting to win the argument more than it cares about the relationship and reason. This doesn’t make you bad or mean; It makes you human. Once you’re aware you’re doing it you have a choice to decide not to and to lead the argument with more dignity and make it sound and grounded in reason.

So when faced with an argument you don’t agree with you do feel the need to convince people to see things your way. This is mostly a characteristic of young people but, if not examined, some keep this habit of tearing others arguments down by devaluing them all their lives. It doesn’t solve the argument and makes the other person feel unheard, shunned and like the relationship is a dictatorship and not a dialogue.

So how does the “strawman” fallacy work? Someone will say something you don’t agree with and what you will do is misrepresent their argument, exaggerate it, fabricate parts of it and poke holes in it to make it easier to tear down. You might twist their words to the point where they have no resemblance to the original argument but are an absurd caricature, compared to which your argument naturally seems more reasonable. This is not the way to lead a discussion. It undermines the validity of all points of view. If you want to have a real, honest and productive conversation, have some mental integrity. Try the opposite – try to voice your “opponents” concerns and arguments as accurately and fully nuanced as you can, try to make it even stronger and then see if you can knock it down with what you believe is true. If you manage to “win” then this is a true “win” and a far more satisfying one, having been gained by fair play and actual facts instead of fabrications and distortions of the other’s point of view. If you’re not a farmer fighting a never-ending battle with crows, let the strawman burn, you’ve got no need for it. Build your arguments in the concrete and respect others enough to let them do the same.