Sure, you can explain if you wish to, that is your right just as freely given as the right to say “no”. Have you noticed that to men saying no comes natural in most cases. They don’t seem to have a problem with refusing things and don’t beat themselves up afterwards. They were raised since day one to be assertive, competitive and to speak up. So while boys were subconsciously through repeating patterns of previous generations taught to conquer, win and set their boundaries, girls were taught to be sensitive to social relationships and do more for others, devoting their time to caring rather than achieving. So to women it doesn’t come natural, they need to come to the point nearing burnout with the demands of other to force themselves into the “no” land, into a place where through repetition they will become comfortable with “no”. They were raised to “be a good girl”, “not make a fuss” be more connected with the community and “no” became a bad word, a social deal breaker that made you seem unkind or closed off – when in fact it is designed to give you power over your time, energy and life.

You cannot be everywhere and do everything. There is only one of you with limited energy resources for that day. You can take a lot because you’re strong, but the thing is you shouldn’t have to stretch yourself so thin. No one can pour from an empty cup and not everything around you can be your responsibility. Fill your cup first, do the tasks you see as important today and then allocate the rest of the time to others if you so please.

“No” is a power source returning the sovereignty of your being back to you. If you’ve been struggling with it that’s good, struggle means that something is moving inside and that you already understand this. Learn to delegate, say “no” if you really don’t want to do something and don’t allow to be bullied into apologizing for it or to be pushed into a corner by guilt. “No” is a full sentence of equal worth as “yes”. You wouldn’t want to receive something that wasn’t given willingly and with an open heart, so why would you give something away by crumbling to the outside pressures. There will be strings pulling in many directions and each new day will come with multiple opportunities to exercise your free choice of “yes” and “no”. Make the choice and stick by it. You’re the only one that can set those boundaries. Your time is precious and only you can speak for you.