Cushions do what they are supposed to do – make something hard and uncomfortable soft and inviting, providing gentle support and making the one that sits unaware of the hard cold structures below the cushions. But cushions can also suffocate, while conveniently muffling the attempted screams (which is actually silly from the one being stifled – to waste their remaining air not on finding a quick solution but on a useless cry for help, but panic takes its toll on reason I suppose).

Do you know that the first generation of immigrants does far better than their children? Why? Well it is due to necessity and lack of a safety net, lack of cushions distorting the reality, making them see more clearly, prioritize more efficiently by having the see-saw of “sink or swim” so visibly present and obvious in everyday life. They have no support of a larger archaic community bonds in a strange new country, no one to hold their back and soften the full on collisions with the problems that will undoubtedly arise through life, they are left to their own wits, and you know what? They make it. Not being protected and not having a framework to sugar coat the real makes them better, more efficient, less prone to stagnation, procrastination and whining – there is just no time for that, there is only time for decisive action and effort. And they make it, becoming strong, self-sufficient and more intelligent in the process of navigating through the chaos and finding solutions.

We know you want to protect your loved ones as much as you can, provide shelter from all the bad, evil and dismal aspects of the world, like an archetype of a mother exposing herself to the monster and sheltering her newborn with her body. Some protection is necessary just by common sense – this is the benefit of having a community and not being alone in the world. But too much protection is detrimental – especially to children and young adults who need to learn how to deal with the world they’ll soon be venturing into. By cushioning the seat too much and doing everything for them you’re taking away the primary driving force that made you succeed – necessity. And when the gap between irresponsible behavior and the punishment for it becomes lengthened by having what you never needed to earn there can be no progress, no way of maturing.

Shelter them while they are helpless and pull back once they’re not. You’ll do more damage than good trying to satisfy your own desire to be needed, perpetuating the perverse logic of -“I’ll do anything for you, just don’t leave” – but eventually leaving means you did it right. Each cushion fort must fall once the real dragon presents itself. The only way to beat it is to crawl out of the fort and fight.