They broke your expectations, from which the shockwave reverberated through the body and felt like heart break and shuttering of the soul in thousands of fragments.

This meant something was important, that it held value for you and therefore became the funnel in which you invested a lot of your time, effort and energy, which circulated back to reinforce the initial idea because of all of the investments in it you made. But in most cases they were not unconditional, now were they? You expected a return on investment, you expected the reciprocity of emotion, you expected to be held precious in return as well, you expected to be promised things, you expected “forever”, you expected to be put first and supported in all things, you expected them to be all you need them to be whenever you needed them to be that – even if they couldn’t, even if it was too much to ask. So the medical term for a broken heart – Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy – feels like a small heart attack, a shock to the suddenly stunned heart that leaves it weakened and feeling broken, but it’s only the aftermath of broken expectations, of being pre-tied to the outcomes like you laid out a screenplay and decided unilaterally that others should play along, follow their cues and read their parts.

One of the hardest things in this life will be to love from a clean truly unconditional space where love is not predicated on following your script, where people are allowed to leave, change, outgrow you, where you gently allow the relationship to change or be severed if it causes pain or discomfort to either side. People are not puppets to be strung up and manipulated by love that only accepts them in a certain state, personality, formation or place on their path.

Their journey may not have been made to fit your expectation of them and don’t ever beg for something that is not given willingly and with and opened heart. Love without attachment, don’t seek for drama or blackmail by withholding affection if things don’t go your way. They are free, and so are you, and you chose each other in freedom, not because you have to. There are no spread sheets and final tallies here. They never broke you heart by doing what they felt is right for them, you broke it yourself by expecting and demanding ROI’s on love.