Confucius said so many deep cutting wisdoms of how to elevate a life and make it a thing of dignity and choice. One of those is: “When it is obvious that the goal cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.”

Have no doubt, the world inevitably breaks everyone, splits them open and shatters who they were in order to build someone new from the wreckage. You are by no means special and predesignated for pain – It will find everyone no matter how good their hiding place is. And when the pain comes, when the goal seems so far away that you start doubting all of your capabilities, when the shame of not succeeding, not keeping a promise, to yourself or someone else, sets in there will be a temptation to get rid of discomfort by lowering the bar. It applies to all areas of life – the relationships you are trying to build, the type of person you’re searching to spend a lifetime with, the decision to go at it alone, the business you’re building, the book you’re writing, the child you’re rising to have specific values. You’ll want to snap at those closest to you, settle for anyone because you’re tired of searching or explaining the choice of being alone, you’ll want to stop building your own thing and take the easy way out of building someone else’s dream, you’ll push the “no time “ excuses because you have no idea how to start writting, turn on the TV for the child because you’re tired of dealing with it… You’ll fall apart more times that you care to count or think about, and if you have a few times by now, good for you – you know how strong you are.

Don’t settle if you feel that this is not where you stop. that this is not your final destination, or settle if you think you’ll be able to live without guilt of a life not fully lived. Anything you don’t know you’ll learn, forget the in-between goals and tweak everything to fit the big goal, don’t just say “Oh I want this so I can do that” ,go straight to the second part after the “so”, the first part is optional and not the only way. Don’t think yourself into a corner. Life is free and beautiful and bars are here just in the soap form – wash away the tears and fears and work at it. Demand more of yourself than anyone else. Give yourself some time to regenerate and do it all over again.