We don’t mean never. Sometimes we all screw up, miss something we should have known, mistreat someone intentionally or not, do horrible selfish things, overlook, take people for granted, not invest as much effort as we should have… ways to make a mistake are infinite, and so are the ways to apologize. But there is a sphere of life we should never ever have to apologize to anyone for. If we did what we had to do or wanted to do and especially if it didn’t have anything to do with the other person or a community, if it in no way hampered their mission and freedom and you didn’t overstep any boundaries of common sense and humanity, than no, no apologies are in order, none are needed even if asked for, even if there is pouting and resentment. Pouting is an excellent and often used method to be manipulating into saying you’re sorry for the things you’re not sorry for, but it is also a childish one.

The rule of thumb for apologies is – if we would do it all over again just as we did it and we still believe in the reasons and justifications of it – we shouldn’t apologize, because a fake apology is a greater insult to the core of the other than standing your ground and (intelligently) disagreeing. We’re allowed to have our opinion, our story and lead it as we see fit.

So don’t apologize if:

– You did your best and it still didn’t work out

– If you had no way of knowing the things you know now and made the decision that tanked anyway

– If you did what you had to do for you, even if it involved having to distance yourself for a while or permanently from some people

– If you said “no” and meant it

– If you made a decision regarding your child or family which others don’t agree with

– If you’ve decided to change and be someone else and are being bullied by guilt into devolving back

– if you removed yourself from the situations that no longer make you content and you see nothing of use to your soul there anymore

– For not blindly agreeing and nodding your life away

– For choosing a different path and not trying fit in

– For love – in any shape or form

– For you previous mistakes when you were a different person

– For seeing and speaking the truth

– For making a choice when all others didn’t, even if it was the wrong one

– For trying

– For being you, no matter how weird that person may be